So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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