'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it's like iHOP with fire
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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