i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have post one night stand depression
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
