break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
