he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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