I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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