i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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