What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Barsexuality is the new black.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
