we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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