ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
