Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
