the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
