What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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