i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
