Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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