i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
