is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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