How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize