she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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