they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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