She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize