so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
FUCK WHALES
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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