they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
