She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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