Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
