I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
