I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
