your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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