dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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