Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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