i permit you to call me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
