My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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