"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
