she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she looked like the before picture.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
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i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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