I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
