Sry I called you an 8
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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