it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
