ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
