What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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