billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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