we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
