no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm getting married
To pizza
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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