Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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