I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
