Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
