id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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