i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
