I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
