Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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