And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
