she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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