He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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