where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
