I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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