You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
