I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
