i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
