that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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