I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
