belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
