On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
