No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She swung at the pinata with crutches
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
