every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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