Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
