its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
